By: Alina Zheng
Nine. The number that changed my life forever. Nine was the number I had worn when I played my first ever soccer game. It was the age when I learned to always work hard and never give up. At that young age, I came to know that my effort and my time would not be wasted. From an extremely shy kid to a young woman who loves to be around people, I am eternally grateful for all the experiences that have crafted me into who I am now.
Ever since I could remember, I was always sensitive. The slightest criticism would shatter me. In addition to that, I also hated being late. If I was one minute late, I would refuse to get out of the car.
Time was not in my favor when I first began soccer. We were running a couple of minutes late to my first ever practice, and I was extremely anxious. By the time we arrived at the fields, I was staring out of the car’s window and watching teams practice nearby, wondering which group I would be a part of. At the same time, I was on the verge of tears and yelling at my dad to take me home. Of course, he refused to, so I grudgingly walked to the unfamiliar area where my team was practicing. Once I saw that everyone on the team had already arrived, I started crying. I ran to my dad and begged him to leave. I was so mad at him for signing me up for soccer because he had made me so upset. I cried that entire practice, hating the way my life was going. I will always remember my first experience.
The next practice went a little smoother. My main priority this time was to make sure I arrived on time. I was beyond happy when we got there early. Going into my second practice, I was still embarrassed from last week’s experience, so I was extremely nervous to see what my team would think of me. When I saw my teammates this time, I tried to look down and hide my face. As practice went on, I warmed up a little to everyone, but I was still timid and quiet. That day, I touched a soccer ball for the very first time. Everything felt so new, so I blamed and battered myself down for being horrible. I kept on telling myself, “You’re so bad,” whenever I messed up. To this day, I sometimes still tell myself I’m not good enough.
I played a season with my first team and enjoyed it, but I decided it was time for me to join a team where I could have more opportunities to score. In the first game, I was put as a defender, which was the position I had always played. Even though everyone on the team went up to the opponent’s half to score, I stayed back because I didn’t want to disobey the coach. I was the only player in the back, and I felt that I had to live up to my responsibilities as a defender. Now that I reflect on this moment, I’ve realized this game has taught me that just because everyone else goes down one path, it doesn’t mean I have to.
In the second game, I played as a midfielder, and I scored my first goal. After the game, I fell in love with soccer. It felt as if I had unlocked a new passion. Every day, I would practice for five hours. Sometimes I would go to a nearby park, but I spent most of my time kicking a small ball at walls and dribbling all around the house.
The effort I put in to improve surpassed all my other teammates. I never had a talent for soccer. I became better because I worked hard. Although I’ve become mentally stronger, occasionally I still find myself struggling to meet new people and taking their words lightly. Soccer has taught me to tune out everything that’s going around me, so I can remain calm and focus on one specific task. The confidence I earned from the countless hours of practice dedicated to soccer has shaped me into who I am today, and this is just the beginning of a journey of self-discovery.