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Planetary Pandemonium

By Andrew Guan

Future, standing by.”

Revolution, standing by.”


Two streaks of blazing light arced across the void of space. These streaks of light were no ordinary missiles; rather, they had the power to destroy entire nations. Fired from Mars’s moon, Phobos, these doomsday bombs were on their way to decimate the Jovian colonies of Ganymede and Io.

It is the year 4050. Humanity has colonized every planet and moon out to the Kuiper Belt, from Phobos all the way to Pluto. Earth has been reduced to nothing but a charred body of space, unable to sustain life. Oceans have boiled away. The atmosphere has become poisonous and toxic. The Sun’s brightness has increased at an unprecedented rate. By this time, Mercury has developed lava pools. Mars’s polar ice caps have begun melting, and the planet’s core has begun to heat up.

All of humanity has been engaged in a war unlike anything anyone had ever seen before. With incredibly powerful and unfathomably destructive technology, entire moon colonies have been wiped out. The spaceships Future and Revolution have been policing the Solar System on the orders of the Confederacy of the Lunar Federation (or the C.L.F.) almost unopposed. The Alliance of the Gas Giants (or the A.G.G.) has vowed to stop the C.L.F. from taking over the Solar System, but with limited success. Currently, the C.L.F. has control over the inner Solar System, excluding the Jovian moons Elara and Europa.

One of the missiles detonated on the sun-facing side of Ganymede, immediately wiping out millions and crushing many more under rubble and debris. Chunks the size of entire city blocks sprayed into interstellar space. Future and Revolution watched in smug satisfaction as the entire moon spasmed and exploded under the sheer force of the missile.

The other missile, however, met a different fate. The residents of Io were armed and alert. They immediately stocked their rocket launchers and managed to blast the missile to smithereens in space, rather than meeting the same ending as the Ganymedians.

The commander of the C.L.F. was less than pleased. He ordered his entire fleet to make their way to Jupiter at once. Immediately, thousands of ships rose from the Lunar and Martian colonies and began the long trek towards Jupiter, bent on war.

“Uh, now what?” asked Commander Troy, leader of the A.G.G. He peered through his telescope. “We have the entire C.L.F. fleet after us. We don’t stand a chance!”

Captain Brodan of the Neptunian Republic raised his hand. “We could try the same approach as them. We know that they’ve sent their entire army, so that leaves their own bases open. We could attack theirs as they come for us.”

“But we don’t have the same amount of resources, and we also want to keep our territories as well,” said Troy, frowning. “We could send waves of our soldiers to fight, but they might still be a lot stronger.”

Captain Fortescue of the Saturnian Federation nodded. “Then attack them from multiple directions. We attack them up front first with the Uranian and Neptunian fleets but then we also converge from the sides. We’ll have to time it just right, but it might work as they pass through the asteroid belt.”

Troy took a stick and drew the battle plan in his dirt. He ordered Brodan and Captain Norfor of the Uranian People’s Republic to return home and prepare their soldiers for the ultimate battle. Troy armed many civilians with custom weapons and informed them of the battle plan. The Jovian and Saturnian fleets launched into space in perfect formation.

Years passed. Finally, the C.L.F. broke through the asteroid belt, fortunately losing dozens of ships on the way to asteroids and rogue A.G.G. battleships. Immediately, the Jovian fleet converged from the right side as the Saturnians approached from the left. The Neptunians and Uranians arrived a few minutes later, without a moment to spare. As soon as the C.L.F. saw them approaching, they opened fire with tremendous force.

The Neptunian fleet was stronger, so they launched hundreds of city-destroying missiles, annihilating the front row of battleships, but there were thousands more to go, and they were relentless. Jovians and Saturnians poured on the weapons and destruction, but equal damage was being dealt to the A.G.G. fleet. This strategy would not last. The C.L.F. was too strong.

We need something better, thought Troy in a panic. He was watching from his home on the moon base Io. He picked up the radio and opened the radio waves. He contacted Commander Moran, the C.L.F. supreme leader. “We need to stop!”

Silence. Then Moran’s laughter, tiny yet vicious, erupted on the other end. “I think not. You have been disrupting our trade. We can only resort to this.”

“I’ve done nothing of the sort!”

“Sorry, but I find that hard to believe. It’s too late to repent for your deeds!” The connection was severed.

Troy snarled in frustration. Just then, he received a call from Captain Brodan. “Sir, we’ve won! It’s over! We’ve won the war!”

Troy’s heart nearly melted. “What? Where一how?”

“Nothing special, sir,” chuckled Brodan, “but we were lucky! Turned out that Future and Revelation weren’t even fighting much, so we threw everything we had at them. Easy enough. After that, they ran away like the cowards they were!”

Troy couldn’t help but grin. “All right! It’s about time we enjoy some peace and quiet.”

“Yes, sir, we could all use some!”

And everyone (except the C.L.F. of course) lived happily ever after.

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