Change in Organization
By: Kathleen Guo
Hello, hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to tell you about your article Journalists have died for their reporting in Indian-administered Kashmir. But since last year, few dare to print the truth. I feel as if you’ve left important information out and pushed them towards the end of the article. The beginning few paragraphs, the ones most likely read by readers, is missing a few elements that make it fail to tell the full story.
This is a sensitive topic that you are covering so it’s important to give the reader the entire cover as soon as you can so they don’t walk away with any false information. For example, the piece where you state that “Publications have had to toe the line — or risk going out of business. Masood, from Kashmir Life, said that copy is read again and again to ensure there's nothing that can provoke a backlash,” give a feel on how strict the policies are in India which is your main theme for this article. It would also be worth noting that India’s government has inserted propaganda in place of all the stories it restricted.
In future articles, there should first be a frame of the topic you plan on covering. Then go into detail for the rest of the story. Place your most important facts in front where it’s eye-catching and easy to remember.